ugh

This has been one of the crappiest weeks of my life. and trust me, i've had some CRAPPY weeks. i fear becoming emo again. why does it always happen at the end of the year? oh, maybe cos at the end of the year, there's nothing to worry about except outside-things. no study-things. and you can bet your bottom dollar, outside-things will affect me much more than study-things. and at the end of the year, everything that has happened throughout the whole year just catches up with you. i feel like one of those chumps in those korean drama series. not that i've ever watched any, but i've heard plenty. feel like the unluckiest guy in the world, but now thinking back, i guess it's not so bad until it's the unluckiest thing in the world..
ok i can go on forever, but shall not waste your time.
*fast-forward and skip all the ranting that will make no sense to you*
dang it's all got into me head..
note to self: must put on a happy Barney face on sunday when leading worship. don't let own emotions affect others. especially other's worship to God.
crap. can't believe the job of worship leading has been given to me just when i'm feeling like this. it's a good thing my 6th sense was tingling again, then i went to ask who was worship leading this sunday. if i didn't, PLH probably would have been staring at an empty pulpit this sunday.
next week also got the synod camp.... how to lead a group like this? i don't think i can hold a Barney face for 4 days from 5-8 dec. who made the groups anyways??? *mumbles to self..*
pardon, what did you say? oh nothing.. *mumbles to self some more..*
oh well.. gotta do what you gotta do..
i just realised i've not been listening to any happy songs as well. been listening to lotsa sad ones. like "untitled", "me against the world" and "perfect" by simple plan, "the reason why", "empty" and "i'm getting over you" by the click five, etc.. etc.. and of course, a few emo songs by my chemical romance never hurt anyone..
*after some thinking..*
well.. guess it's best to pray.. trust God with whatever plan He has.. i just realised all my plans are really useless and there's always stuff to change them and they never work out. (the long-term ones, i mean) and no matter how bad things get, and when there's nobody else on earth, i guess God's always there for me. that's comforting. maybe that's what He's trying to tell me through all these.
hmm.. i feel better already.. i think.. i hope.. i pray..